Since yesterday I feel that I’ve entered a new stage. From being too much zoomed in on my personal experience today I am clearly outwards oriented. I noticed that by experiencing the ease of tying some loose ends in my academy work that were overdue since the end of the school year. I did it with joy and lightness and I was putting it aside for a while due to various circumstances, but also procrastinating big time. Finally, I rounded it up and what helped me to move flawlessly, is my new thinking pattern, following my intrinsic motivations instead of focusing on the small tasks. It did magic, and I must admit I love thinking big. I feel a real boost when I can think about my work in the context of the grand narrative of actually changing something. I care about the world, a better world and I believe I have certain qualities that can contribute to a positive change. At times I struggle to have my focus right and get sucked into my own processes. But overall I am driven by the ambition to bring in change. Writing this feels very uncomfortable, though. Let me explore this discomfort. First of all, I think the general tendency is not to think in global terms. The world is too big and talking about change is useless. Even more so it is seen as either being arrogant, naive or ignorant. All of this can be true, but it doesn’t necessarily have to make me reject the desire to change and serve a goal which is greater than I am. In my opinion, being driven by a greater goal, thinking big and ambitions is the most healthy, fulfilling and useful thing to do. There is a but though. It is not just thinking about these things, but also realising my own limitations, being able to manage expectations and be honest with myself what you I and can not do. This mindset will allow to demystify and make changing the world more tangible.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking big, it can create a purpose for life and bring lots of fulfilment along the way. Even more so, when one struggles to find meaning, a good idea can be to look around and see what the world needs. So, instead of digging inside ourselves, desperately looking for something to give us purpose, let’s look at the skills we have, what we like doing and then find an area to apply ourselves in. There are plenty of things in the world we can do. If you are an artist, perhaps you might be struggling with a new idea from your work, what has to be said or highlighted in the world of today. Tune in to a demand that the world has and serve it as good as you can. Be honest with your limitations and capacities, optimise your workload until the point when it is a little challenging so you can grow and serve. In exchange, you will have long lasting purpose and gratitude. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it, but why is it so difficult to do then? First of all, our ego doesn’t like it. In order to serve a higher purpose we need to be able to give in and surrender. And if we don't understand surrender in the right way, we feel threatened by the loss of control. Which is a deception, because the world is always in control anyways, all the worries, self-deceptions, conflicts, guilt, etc. are coming form the place of resistance. Our own rebellious resistance against the world. It is a battle we can never win.
Let me try and make it clear. I am not proposing passivity here. I am proposing active engagement with the world, driven by internal motivation to serve the needs of the world in becoming a better place. To actually do it, a lot has to happen before. The good thing is that finding our niche and working in it diligently and honestly will do the job. We can’t indeed change the world at once, but we can be part of the process. Caring about the world is a beautiful motivation to have and the world is big enough to take us in and give us something to do. I hope we can bring back grand narratives and proudly say I want to change the world and I have some ideas about it. I know I am not perfect and can’t be trusted at all times, also that I am a procrastinator and when I am hungry I become angry, but knowing these details makes me a trustworthy person the world can rely on, because my main goal is to serve it. And do it as well as I can given the circumstances of my being.